Former English leader Lewis Moody has announced he has been identified with motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet face the full implications of the muscle-wasting condition that took the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was involved in the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and secured several English and European titles with Leicester, appeared on BBC Breakfast a fortnight after finding out he has the illness.
"There's an element of looking the future in the face and not wanting to completely absorb that at the present time," he stated.
"This doesn't mean I don't understand where it's progressing. We comprehend that. But there is absolutely a hesitation to confront the future for now."
Moody, conversing together with his wife Annie, explains rather he feels "peaceful" as he focuses on his present welfare, his family and making preparations for when the disease worsens.
"Perhaps that's trauma or possibly I deal with matters in another way, and when I have the information, it's more manageable," he stated further.
First Symptoms
Moody discovered he had MND after detecting some weakness in his shoulder while training in the gym.
After physical therapy failed to improve the problem, a number of scans showed nerves in his central nervous system had been compromised by MND.
"You're given this medical finding of MND and we're rightly very affected about it, but it's so strange because I feel like I'm perfectly healthy," he continued.
"I don't feel unwell. I don't sense sick
"My symptoms are very minor. I have some muscle deterioration in the fingers and the shoulder.
"I continue to be competent to accomplishing anything and everything. And optimistically that will persist for as long as is attainable."
Condition Progression
MND can advance quickly.
According to the organization MND Association, the illness claims a 33% of people within a twelve months and more than half within 730 days of diagnosis, as swallowing and inhalation become increasingly challenging.
Therapy can only slow deterioration.
"It's never me that I feel sad for," commented an affected Moody.
"It's the grief around having to tell my mum - as an sole offspring - and the ramifications that has for her."
Family Consequences
Conversing from the residence with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by emotion when he mentioned breaking the news to his sons - 17-year Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the traumatic news, stating: "That represented the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two excellent boys and that was quite devastating," Moody remarked.
"We positioned ourselves on the couch in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog leapt across and commenced licking the moisture off our faces, which was quite funny."
Moody said the focus was staying in the now.
"We have no cure and that is why you have to be so strongly concentrated on just welcoming and savoring everything now," he stated.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been very fortunate that the sole decision I made when I concluded playing was to spend as much time with the kids as possible. We can't reclaim those years back."
Player Association
Top-level sportspeople are unevenly affected by MND, with research indicating the incidence of the illness is up to 600% elevated than in the general population.
It is believed that by restricting the oxygen available and producing damage to motor neurone cells, regular, vigorous physical activity can initiate the disease in those already genetically susceptible.
Athletic Career
Moody, who won 71 England appearances and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in recognition of his fearless, unwavering method to the game.
He competed through a bone injury of his leg for a time with Leicester and once caused a practice scuffle with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, annoyed, he discarded a training equipment and commenced participating in collisions.
After entering as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the rear of the set piece in the decisive moment of play, establishing a base for scrum-half Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the victory-securing drop-goal.
Backing Network
Moody has previously notified Johnson, who led England to that championship, and a few other previous players about his condition, but the others will be discovering his news with the broader public.
"There will be a period when we'll need to lean on their backing but, at the minute, just having that type of love and recognition that people are present is the crucial thing," he stated.
"This game is such a excellent family.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even should it ended now, I've appreciated all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"When you have the opportunity to consider your love your career, it's one of the greatest blessings.
"To have done it for so long a duration with the groups that I did it with was a delight. And I understand they will want to assist in whatever way they can and I look forward to having those conversations."
