I Am the ‘Boys Have a Penis’ Kid from the Arnold Schwarzenegger Comedy: A Look Back.
The action icon is best known as an action movie legend. However, in the midst of his star power in the eighties and nineties, he also headlined several surprisingly great comedies. The standout film is Kindergarten Cop, which hits its 35-year mark this December.
The Role and The Famous Scene
In the classic film, Schwarzenegger plays a tough police officer who goes undercover as a elementary educator to track down a criminal. Throughout the film's runtime, the procedural element acts as a basic structure for the star to have charming interactions with kids. Without a doubt the standout features a child named Joseph, who spontaneously stands up and states the former bodybuilder, “Males have a penis, females have a vagina.” Schwarzenegger deadpans, “I appreciate the insight.”
The young actor was brought to life by youth performer Miko Hughes. His career included a notable part on Full House playing the antagonist to the famous sisters and the character of the resurrected boy in the screen translation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He continues to act today, with a slate of movies on the horizon. Furthermore, he engages with fans at fan conventions. He recently shared his recollections from the filming of the classic over three decades on.
Behind the Scenes
Interviewer: First, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?
Miko Hughes: I believe I was four. I was the youngest of all the kids on set.
That's impressive, I have no memory from being four. Do you have any memories from that time?
Yeah, somewhat. They're flashes. They're like visual recollections.
Do you recall how you landed the job in Kindergarten Cop?
My mother, mainly would bring me to auditions. Sometimes it was like a cattle call. There'd be 20, 30 kids and we'd all simply wait around, be seen, be in there less than five minutes, do whatever little line they wanted and that was it. My parents would feed me the lines and then, when I became literate, that was the initial content I was reading.
Do you have a specific memory of meeting Arnold? What was your take on him?
He was extremely gentle. He was playful. He was pleasant, which I suppose makes sense. It would have been odd if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom, that probably wouldn't make for a good work environment. He was a joy to have on set.
“It would be strange if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom.”
I was aware he was a huge celebrity because my family informed me, but I had never really seen his movies. I felt the importance — it was exciting — but he wasn't scary to me. He was simply playful and I just wanted to play with him when he wasn't busy. He was occupied, of course, but he'd kind of play with us here and there, and we would hang off of his arms. He'd flex and we'd be dangling there. He was exceptionally kind. He bought every kid in the classroom a yellow cassette player, which at the time was the hottest tech. It was the must-have gadget, that distinctive classic yellow cassette player. I used to rock out to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for years on that thing on that thing. It wore out in time. I also received a genuine metal whistle. He had the teacher's whistle, and the kids all got a whistle as well.
Do you remember your experience as being positive?
You know, it's amusing, that movie is such a landmark. It was a major production, and it was a wonderful time, and you would think, in retrospect, I would want my memories to be of the star himself, the direction of Ivan Reitman, traveling to Oregon, the production design, but my memories are of being a really picky eater at lunch. For instance, they got everyone pizza, but I didn't even like pizza. All I would eat was the toppings only. Then, the first-generation Game Boy was new. That was the hot thing, and I was quite skilled. I was the smallest kid and some of the bigger kids would ask for my help to get past hard parts on games because I knew how, and I was quite pleased with myself. So, it's all little kid memories.
The Infamous Moment
OK, the penis and vagina line, do you remember the context? Did you understand the words?
At the time, I likely didn't understand what the word shocking meant, but I realized it got a reaction and it got a big laugh. I knew it was kind of something I shouldn't normally say, but I was given special permission in this case because it was humorous.
“She really wrestled with it.”
How it came about, according to family lore, was they hadn't finalized all the dialogue. Certain bits of dialogue were part of the original screenplay, but once they had the entire ensemble assembled, it was more of a collaboration, but they worked on it while filming and, I suppose the filmmakers came to my mom and said, "We're thinking. We want Miko to deliver this dialogue. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't answer immediately. She said, "Give me a moment, I need time" and took a short while. She really wrestled with it. She said she wasn't sure, but she thought it will probably be one of the iconic quotes from the movie and she was right.