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One Side: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their bond?